I’m currently taking a college course in Human Relations and had to complete a stress assessment. The scores are based on certain life situations you’ve experienced over the past 12 months. Each event or situation has a corresponding score, and if you score 300 or more you are extremely stressed. My score was 381.
So yes, I’m experiencing extreme stress. If you read my September Blog you’ve seen my changes so far in 2023. Yet amid the changes (and the ever-present insomnia I’m experiencing) I must admit that I’m surprisingly at peace.
How? We all know the benefits of living a healthy lifestyle with proper diet, exercise, and sleep. Positivity has also been scientifically proven to increase dopamine and serotonin, two hormones that help us regulate our moods and behaviors. I’m also a huge believer in seeking professional help when needed. But aside from some hormonal help, a good diet, regular exercise and professional counseling -- what else can we do to experience more peace?
On my website is a link to an online movement called “Actions for Happiness” where I’m learning practical tools to live a happier life. I want to share an integrated approach I’ve learned that involves the head, the heart, and the hands that is working for me. Let me share a bit of what this looks like in my life…
Mindfulness: How’s my head? I’ve recently been following a guided meditation using an app I purchased. This yogi has a soothing voice, and his videos are simple, quick and easy to download. Using his guided meditations every day has helped me with my sleep, my self-thoughts and has lessened the anxiety I feel at times about my unknown future and the deep sadness I’m experiencing from a family situation. When I quiet my mind and focus on what I can control (and let go of what I cannot control) I find peace.
Gratitude: How’s my heart? I remember after my divorce in 2012 someone told me they could literally feel my hopelessness, and I hated that. I don’t want to be known as someone without hope - and the practice of verbally and mentally thinking of what I’m thankful for was a practical tool I used to bring hope back into my life. It’s like lighting a candle in a dark room. It became harder for me to feel hopeless when I wrote down and spoke words of thankfulness every day. Words matter, and when I use words of gratitude, I find peace.
Kindness: Are my hands open or closed? I learned a valuable lesson in my early 20’s. I was dirt poor and felt very lonely. A mentor told me to go serve others. I thought they were crazy at the time, “I can’t afford to donate money. I am working my butt off to pay my bills so when am I going to volunteer anywhere?” I pushed past these excuses one day and what I learned in helping others regardless of my situation was that in serving others I found peace.
We all carry these abilities – they are our superpowers! Feel lonely? Go be a friend. Feel angry? Go love on someone. Feel sad? Make someone else happy. Give away what you need, and it will come back to you. I’ve seen this play out in my career and personal life repeatedly. Trust me, it works. And if it doesn’t you may need to make some of the other changes mentioned above.
I want to encourage anyone reading this today, use your head, heart, and hands to create happiness and peace in your life. Now, especially in a world so full of war and hate, I have pledged to live a happier life regardless of my circumstances. If you are using these tools but still need more peace in your life seek help for your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.
I plan on retaking the stress assessment, but only after some counseling and once my final class is finished. If you’d like a copy of the assessment, message me directly at KerriBryant@gofrwd.org and I’ll email it to you!
Be well my friends. Keep moving forward, find your peace and don’t stop searching until you do.
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